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Old 05-28-2005, 01:02 PM   #1
charlene
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Join Date: May 2000
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Canadian Idol starts again on Monday: this is from an article in today's STAR:
I guess this guy doesn't know about the toe-tappers!: see Sentences You can Use:
p.s. a girl at Lisa's school got a "Gold Ticket" !!
the whole article is at: http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1117102395571&call_pag eid=968867495754&col=969483191630&DPL=IvsNDS%2f7Ch AX&tacoda login=yes


Herewith, A Cheater's Guide to Pretending You Watch Canadian Idol When You Really Don't:

Five Judge-Related Comments You Can Use At Any Time:

1. In his spare time, Zack Werner kicks kittens.

2. Jake Gold has a lot of wisdom — and really cool glasses.

3. Sass Jordan is so ... sassy!

4. Farley Flex could teach these contest kids a thing or two about style.

5. I wonder if any of them slept with Corey Clark.

Five Random Facts To Slip Into Conversations:

1. This year's audition tour visited 13 cities.

2. 187 "Gold Tickets" were issued.

3. In Toronto, 37 contestants received a Gold Ticket.

4. 43 per cent of competitors are 18 or younger.

5. Canadian Idol generates more auditions than American Idol on a per capita basis. Now if we could just do something about our military spending.

Five Sentences You Can Safely Use After Any Performance:

1. It sounded pitchy.

2. You rarely see that much dancing in a Gordon Lightfoot cover.

3. It will be interesting to see what people in Alberta make of that.

4. I predict he/she goes on to sell tens of CDs.

5. He's definitely in my dawg pound.

Five Geographical Questions To Start Discussions:

1. Did you know they expanded the audition tour to 13 cities this season?

2. Did you know that they visited every province and one territory?

3. Did you know Ontario contestants make up 34 per cent of the Top 187?

4. Did you know that nobody from Charlottetown got a Gold Ticket?

5. Did you know 18 Gold Tickets were issued to contestants from British Columbia? Coincidentally, 18 is also the percentage of B.C. teens who have never smoked dope.

Five Music Industry Facts To Impress Coworkers:

1. Ryan Malcolm, Gary Beals and Audrey de Montigny have received Juno nominations.

2. Kalan Porter's debut single, "Awake in a Dream," became the biggest-selling single debut for a Canadian artist.

3. Porter's CD, 219 Days, went double platinum.

4. Canadian Idol and American Idol employ the same vocal coach, Debra Byrd.

5. "Established" musicians throughout the free world continue to hate the Idol franchise the way the rest of us hate Paris Hilton.

Five General Observations:

1. Well, just be glad Bo Bice wasn't born in Manitoba.

2. I didn't realize Sarah McLachlan wrote that song in that key.

3. Do you think Paula Abdul will apply to be a judge on Canadian Idol if she gets fired this summer?

4. He has the poise of Ryan Malcolm, the vocal range of Kalan Porter and the star power of Jon Dore!

5. I wish Ben ended each show with "Mulroney ... out of town."
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