It Never Rains But It Pours - Page 2

Jesse Joe · 10-31-2006, 08:04 AM

Just read this Annie, very sad indeed. Thinking of you... ~ Jesse~

Auburn Annie · 10-31-2006, 01:27 PM

Well, we made it through the wake (oh my achin' feet!!) and funeral and graveside services without anyone collapsing. Only my son was MIA; he's dealing with some sort of depression and can not handle the sadness of funerals.

My brother wrote a wonderful eulogy (including the call/response my parents sang while doing Mom's physical therapy - Dad would sing "Oh how we danced on the night we were wed" to which Mom would reply "If you think we danced, you have rocks in your head.")

The church was full with her siblings, grandchildren, cousins, friends and neighbors. The organist mangled "Wind Beneath My Wings" but did "Danny Boy" okay and I was already out the door by the time he was supposed to segue into "When Irish Eyes are Smiling." We had a police escort all the way. The weather was beautiful: 60s, slightly overcast with a light breeze. And the catered lunch was delicious. Tomorrow everything goes back to whatever the new normal is.

charlene · 10-31-2006, 03:17 PM

the 'new normal' - wow - ain't that the truth Annie...
Love the call/response...too cute!
Stay safe, stay strong, keep smiling....
Char

SilverHeels · 11-01-2006, 11:05 AM

Annie, sounds like you did your mother proud. I am sure she was watching from somewhere and loving every minute.

brink- · 11-01-2006, 11:50 AM

Sorry about Kyle, poor kid.
Appears most everything went well sad about the organist, nobody will remember that part anyway.
Cute story on the call/response. lol
Hope all works out now on the will part.

Auburn Annie · 11-01-2006, 01:09 PM

We've started the legal process but it'll take about 6 months to fully shake out. Debts have to be settled (next to none) and financial institutions notified. We figure on needing about 20 copies of the death certificate. The paperwork is endless. Meanwhile we're spending a lot of time on the phone with the medical suppliers to come and retrieve home care equipment, supplemental insurance, retirement system re pension checks, etc.

For a change of pace I took my hubby out for lunch (he usually treats me) and a browse through a new gift shop in the next town over. We found a couple of early Christmas gifts for the kids, old metal signs, one reading "Beer: Lowering Men's Standards Since 1865" for Kyle, and a Betty Boop one for Rachel. There were some very nice framed prints (local painters) and a small art deco clock that Rich liked. I think Mrs. Claus will be going back for that another time.

Auburn Annie · 11-01-2006, 03:12 PM

I worry about him. He's resistant to counseling (we've suggested both gently and strongly) and wants to work it out himself. I make sure to touch base just about daily, by phone or in person. He *did* trim the Grizzly Adams beard - it's still full but not out to there. He came close to showing up for the funeral (dressed for it). I told him in a few weeks he and I could go together to the grave for a few minutes if he wanted and he said okay. I'm not pushing it. I have heard indirectly that the sister who had been primary caregiver was criticizing his not being there to another sibling. Not to him, not to me, but... This is the same one who has assumed possession of the family home, and has already told one sister she can only come there on Wednesdays to do her laundry. Possession may be 9/10ths of the law but the will itself trumps possession, and the estate is jointly owned 9 ways for now.

This is beginning to sound like a soap or Saturday afternoon serial. To be continued....

Auburn Annie · 11-02-2006, 07:36 AM

I think it's a lot of residual stress talking. FWIW I'm glad I'm not one of the executors; my younger brothers are - Dad was old-fashioned that way. They're hearing complaints by way of all the back channels and are the ones who have to diplomatically soothe and smooth things over.

Stay tuned for the latest installment in ... As the Stomach Turns! [thank you, Carol Burnett]

Cathy · 11-02-2006, 07:37 AM

I'm like Kyle is with funerals. I just absolutely hate them, and don't go unless it's a close relative.
Back in the 8th grade, a classmate was killed while plowing a field. The field was on a side hill, and he hit a piece of ledge, causing the tractor to roll over on him. It took forever for the ambulance to arrive, and he suffered terribly before he finally died. Inspite of the fact that he was terribly injured, his parents had an open casket funeral. It was quite a shock for a kid who'd never been to a funeral, to look at his swollen head and bruised up face. His head was the size of a basketball. It scared the hell out of me!
I've been to 5 funerals since... 2 grandmothers, a grandfather, a friend's father, and my own father. Every time I walk into that funeral parlor, I see young Robert lying in his casket.
My brother, who is the funeral director/mortician, says I need to seek therapy.

Auburn Annie · 11-02-2006, 10:06 AM

I think you were too young, especially as it was a classmate, and under the circumstances. I didn't attend my first wake until I was in college, and that was unplanned (on my part.) I was returning home on vacation and my parents met me at the train station with "oh by the way, we're stopping on the way home for your grandfather's cousin's wake." I never saw so many elderly relatives in my life until we had a family reunion many years later, lol.

Peter Bro10 · 11-02-2006, 03:17 PM

It's an odd thing, but I've never regretted going to a funeral or wake, but there have been ones I've skipped and then later regretted not going.

Auburn Annie · 11-02-2006, 04:05 PM

I missed my maternal grandfather's funeral which happened just after I got back to college in my junior year. He had been in poor health for some time with emphysema, however, and had written to tell me that if he died while I was at school, not to come home. So I didn't. And missed the "Funeral of the 17 Hams" (see above). But I can't say I regretted missing it. The hardest one, oddly enough, wasn't family but a neighbor I'd known since I was 10 and she was 9. She died at the age of 51, a few weeks before my Dad died.

brink- · 11-02-2006, 05:10 PM

Annie,
Great thought to take Kyle to the cemetary. Also, maybe a nice momento of Grandma for Kyle's new house.
I think the old adage of "walk a mile in my moccasins" would be good for your sister. She needs to mellow out, I hope she was speaking because she is in shock or stressed instead of being vindictive.

Cathy · 11-05-2006, 02:19 PM

He's 17 years younger than I am. He was kind of an after thought... or a good old mistake.
He actually seems like he's one of my kids, instead of my brother.


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