"But I chose to live instead
Inside the shell they gave me"?
Always sounded to me like the narrator chose to lead the material life, hell-bent for leather emphasis on earthly pleasures when he was young. In other words, like most young folks sowing wild oats, living a sort of heedless one-day-at-a-time, if-it-feels-good fun life. But as he gets older he realizes there's more to life than drinkin' carousing and chasing after the next good time. He comes to the realization that he's missed out on what's really valuable, and it's too late to get it back.
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