[geodeticman.5]

Ladies in the thread: A quick, but heartfelt thought. It is a bit out-of-context, but speaking of losing Merry in any other thread would be a bummer to the readers, and in poor taste, for many obvious reasons, especially in threads where I raise a discussion-provoking, or ending ! - subject. If I were to make an addendum in any other thread than this about a recent thought on losing Merry, it would be an emotional unfair and unkind act that would be potentially misinterpreted as "playing an emotional card" - good Lord I could not raise the subject of her with anything but the most sincere of reasons...

Having said that, too much preface, too much worry, too much apologizing on my part have all surfaced in the last few months I've been back on board.

New subject pertaining to Merry, as a man's ort of advice to women; that's the point of my post today. Today is (was, 4 hours ago) rather would have been Merry's birthday. Mamie and I went out to dinner as a cheerer-upper, and to discuss Mamie's mom with her, and sort of, memorialize her informally, to honour her in the sanctity of her remaining immediate family's privacy. One thing I told Mamie, and is also my two-cents worth of advice for this post ( its a million bucks to me metaphorically, if not priceless in its context) has to do with fragrance. Don't underestimate it, Ladies.

From a man's perspective; a husband's,lifetime partner's, and a lover's perspective, as I told Mamie, an adult woman now, married, in tasteful context as appropo for my daughter to hear just some of, regarding my memories of her mother, and the images and senses they elicited, fragrance played very heavily.

Without getting too tech-ie, in short, I have read that of all the 5 senses, the largest memory sector in our brain for sensory memory is olfactory -sense of smell, and memories of it.... believe it or not ; moreso than visual images that would have been my guess. Experiencing the truth of that... I almost cannot picture Merry's face in my mind's eye, sort of, now, until I look at her picture on my desk...and it all comes back. Some sort of protective mechanism, I suppose.. But what DOES come back sharply, Ladies, and I mean very powerfully, and evocative of very strong context memories of events, etc., stem from her fragrance.

She wore a fragrance she knew I liked....it is one she wore on our honeymoon in the Tetons. It reminds me of the obvious Lightfoot song, "Affair on Eighth Avenue" - please allow me this excess here:

.........
The perfume that she wore was from some little store
On the down side of town
But it lingered on long after she'd gone
I remember it well
And she showed me her treasures of paper and tin
And then we played a game only she could win
And our fingers entwined like ribbons of light
And we came through a doorway somewhere in the night....... ~gl

It is difficult... but very special to me....that she took such care in wearing the fragrance that she knew I loved on her.... she would not wear it to work, she reserved it for our time together, which I thought was nice....

I can smell it so strongly right now....and its like she is here... and now and then... I can smell it out of the blue..... I don't hold with supernatural things.... but memory and the mind can do both wonderful and hard things...

this one is wonderful.....

So Ladies, "if you are of a mind to" - as Merry and her family was given to saying.... wear your fragrance your husband likes for him, one that goes all the way back to your honeymoon if you can identify it...... and believe me, he will hold it precious for all his life... and you.....

humble advice, worth no more than you pay for it, I know, but my price paid was very high in learning it, and its worth sharing, that others may have this special extra something...between them... and it does in fact linger on..for a lifetime...

Thanks for letting me get that out on her Birthday today.... I hope it brings you some happiness in knowing how powerful.... your subtle fragrance is...

Happy Birthday, Merry