Hey Char - sounds like my sister's situation. A lot depends on the age and gender of the kids. She's got 2 boys (15 and almost 17.) Their divorce was final last November; custody is nominally joint but their dad has final say on most issues and their mom has them alternate weekends. Staying with their dad? - woo hoo!! Fast food nearly every night, he buys them the games their mother wouldn't approve of, let's "boys be boys" etc. But they never have a home-cooked meal with dad; he's left them home alone all day when they're sick; "works" late several times a week; and leaves the house at night after they're asleep to spend time with his latest girlfriend. BUT my sister has noticed in the last few months the boys are choosing to spend more of their dad's time with her. The novelty of "do anything you want" is wearing off and they're looking for her structure, rules, and plain mothering. So far they've stayed out of trouble but they do go through a mouthy, know everything stage no matter how well brought up they are.
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