I’ve wondered for weeks whether or not to post this.
What the hell! – I’ll probably never meet any of you, anyway, and I can always delete it when I recover my ‘undone senses’.
A Tree Too Weak To Stand (Cold On The Shoulder) 3:22
I see a place where candles burn and lovers rest tonight
The hollow sound inside me now keeps telling me to write
But songs of love will never leave love's feelings undefiled
The tide has turned, the waves roll in, the waters fill my eyes
The price of lust has risen till the ceiling will not stand
The tears I shed were not in shame, the world was in my hands
If trust was just a simple thing then trusting I would be
But deep within my soul I know it's better to be free
The days fly by, the waves roll in, but freedom has not come
I fear my faith will soon give out, my senses come undone
My role is played, the demon dogs come stealin' o'er land
And foolish I would climb once more a tree too weak to stand
I see a place where candles burn and lovers rest tonight
The hollow sound inside me now keeps telling me to write
But songs of love should not be sung where staying is not planned
And foolish I would climb once more a tree too weak to stand
And foolish I would climb once more a tree too weak to stand
This is the song that has me in floods of tears at the moment.
It’s far too close to home.
“But deep within my soul I know it's better to be free”
“But songs of love should not be sung where staying is not planned”
These lines just scream out at me, chiming with ‘the hollow sound inside me’. After 22 years together ‘I fear my faith will soon give out’ but I still remember fondly ‘a place where candles burn and lovers rest tonight’. (And frequently still do.
)
I know perfectly well that I will keep going back to climb this particular tree. I just don’t know if it’s really worth so much damn hard work. So often I just feel so drained and exhausted, my ‘love’s feelings defiled’; ‘the waters fill my eyes’.
GL has completely captured, for me at least, every agonising moment in a disintegrating relationship, whose roots have become too rotten to sustain it. As Mair said, the man is a great artist; a genius who can articulate profound emotions which leave us floundering, confused and distraught.
He’s been through it all himself and I have the horrible feeling the poor man is having to cope with it again at this particularly vulnerable time in his life. Like him, I’ve been in and out of hospital over the last five months – feeling absolute crap, work on hold, marriage crumbling. Anyway, I’ll bounce back. He definitely seems to be. There is a light at the end of the tunnel – Massey.
And, I am going to be there!