RM
08-20-2008, 01:07 PM
I had not heard a thing about this. This is a portion of a light-hearted season preview of the Buffalo Bills. A couple of Lightfoot references :
"Yes, for those of you not held hostage by the obscure motives and delicate body-chemistry of the Bills' 89 year-old owner Ralph Wilson (A.K.A. Father Time A.K.A. Mr. Burns A.K.A. Im-hotep), the Bills have agreed to a $78 million deal to play eight games over the next five years in Toronto, including this November 30th against Miami. That's right, Miami at Buffalo, late November…climate-controlled. For shame! Ralph Wilson is rolling over in his grave. Wait!—no—false alarm.
Anyway, despite a catchy tag-line ("The 2008 Bills: Now with 13% less Buffalo!"), the whole thing makes me a little queasy. How soon before the "Shout!" song is supplanted by Gordon Lightfoot? How soon before Trent Edwards is required to call audibles in English and French? How soon before the locker room is riven by differing viewpoints on the War of 1812? It's sort of like your girlfriend announcing that she's going to spend a couple nights a week at this handsome, rich guy's bachelor pad—let's call him, I don't know, Pierre. But don't worry! It won't affect your relationship at all. In fact, as she tells it, the intermittent Pierre-boffing is actually going to make your relationship stronger.
Well, what can you do. Here's to hoping that Toronto is just the gay best friend. They can shop, and check out the latest Chihuly exhibit, but when the lights go down and passions rise and the Bills need a town to make them feel like a woman…well…uh…I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this.
But Pierre and Ralph and Gordon Lightfoot aside, here's the good news: the 2008 Buffalo Bills look really, really, not-bad."
"Yes, for those of you not held hostage by the obscure motives and delicate body-chemistry of the Bills' 89 year-old owner Ralph Wilson (A.K.A. Father Time A.K.A. Mr. Burns A.K.A. Im-hotep), the Bills have agreed to a $78 million deal to play eight games over the next five years in Toronto, including this November 30th against Miami. That's right, Miami at Buffalo, late November…climate-controlled. For shame! Ralph Wilson is rolling over in his grave. Wait!—no—false alarm.
Anyway, despite a catchy tag-line ("The 2008 Bills: Now with 13% less Buffalo!"), the whole thing makes me a little queasy. How soon before the "Shout!" song is supplanted by Gordon Lightfoot? How soon before Trent Edwards is required to call audibles in English and French? How soon before the locker room is riven by differing viewpoints on the War of 1812? It's sort of like your girlfriend announcing that she's going to spend a couple nights a week at this handsome, rich guy's bachelor pad—let's call him, I don't know, Pierre. But don't worry! It won't affect your relationship at all. In fact, as she tells it, the intermittent Pierre-boffing is actually going to make your relationship stronger.
Well, what can you do. Here's to hoping that Toronto is just the gay best friend. They can shop, and check out the latest Chihuly exhibit, but when the lights go down and passions rise and the Bills need a town to make them feel like a woman…well…uh…I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this.
But Pierre and Ralph and Gordon Lightfoot aside, here's the good news: the 2008 Buffalo Bills look really, really, not-bad."