Two nations divided by a common language??

[johnfowles]

Yesterday I discovered a great UK site
http://www.ukexperts.co.uk/
and today whilst perusing the multitude of forums there I found this "US Declaration of Independence joke" at:-
http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/showthread.php?t=853&highlight=dvd+regions
I wont spoil your enjoyment by quoting too much but I got a great kick out of lines like:-
"The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words
such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than
laziness on your part. Similarly you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z'
(pronounced 'zed', not 'zee') and the suffix 'ize' will be replaced by the
suffix 'ise'"


"You will stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football.
What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you
who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that
no one else plays American football"

"Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game
called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves,
collector cards or hotdogs"

"The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be
referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine with the exception of the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen
Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser - as manufactured for the last 1000
years in Pilsen, Czech Republic - to be sold without risk of confusion."
John Fowles
Not yet found an equivalent one for Australians!!

[Jim Nasium]

American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen
Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser - as manufactured for the last 1000
years in Pilsen, Czech Republic - to be sold without risk of confusion."JF, a few years ago, some consumer program on the BOX compared high quality expensive lager with cheap 'Own Brand' lager, by giving people a shot glass of each and invited them to mark each one out of 10, the winner was Tesco's own brand. Anyway at the end of the test, the tester pulled out a glass of an unknown drink and asked one taster to try it. He took a gulp and said, "I don't like that." Whereupon the tester pulled out a bottle of Budweiser, and showed it to the taster, who promptly said, "Oh, now I know its Bud, a rather like it."

Make of that what you will. It certainly made me chuckle!

[johnfowles]

Originally posted by Jim Nasium:
[QUOTE] the winner was Tesco's own brand. Anyway at the end of the test,Great Jim I also recall a similar comparison test with what was at the time the most popular supermarket "loss-leader" the ubiquitos Baked Beans several testers preferred Tesco's own brand
http://www.blinman.com/tesco_value_beans.jpg

to the Heinz variety

http://www.eurocosm.com/Application/Images/Newpics/02PAC46md.jpg

which reminds me our main large supermarket chain
shoprite (http://www.shoprite.com/home/srframeset.htm)
Whilst stocking other brands of Beans and many other Heinz products for some obscure reason do not sell the familiar blue BB cans,,. Fortuneately our nearest and best Indian grocery store (called would you believe "Patels Cash and Carry"! stock genuine imported (made in Hayes Middx) Heinz cans so my culinary pleasure and ability to feed myself on occasion are ensured.
Interestingly a great many things sold over here are blatant copies of the originals from medications to in particular cerials
for example I have here a box of Shoprite own-brand "Honey Oat Clusters with almonds" on the packet at the top it prominently says "Compare to the Great Taste of HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS with Almonds" (r) then smugly adds in small print on one side
"Honey Bunches Of Oats is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods,Inc. Wakefern Food Corporation (shoprite's holding company) is not affiliated with Kraft Foods Inc."
John Fowles
It's too late now, she's not the same
She's a red hot kid, she's a crying shame